In A Rut

Of late, the running has been going… eh. It’s not terrible: the hill work seems to go well—and that will be important and I hope will pay off come marathon day—the long runs and easy runs go ok. But it’s not going stellar either: the tempo runs, the intervals, in other words, the most challenging runs, have been going so-so. Actually, I’m not sure when’s the last time I finished one of those runs feeling like I really did well. I’ve had intervals I’ve quit after barely starting I was so tired and draggy, and tempo runs I peter out even though I’m giving it all I can. Sure, I’ve been tired, and now a little sick (of course still running), but still, it’s discouraging.

And as I consider how the running has been going of late, I can’t help noticing that it seems to mirror the way I feel my spiritual life is going… eh. Also, not terrible. There are moments and days when I feel God’s presence and feel purpose and enthusiasm and joy. Then there’s moments and days when I can’t get out of my own way and I’m just tired, and draggy, and feel like I need a vacation, except I was just on vacation. It’s discouraging.

See what I mean about mirroring? Which makes me wonder if there’s a connection. Is my spiritual state affecting my running? Or is my running affecting my spiritual state? Age old question—which came first, the chicken or the egg, right? But I do believe that there is in fact a connection as I firmly believe that we are embodied spirits and our body and spirit are one (I think of it as the human version of the hypostatic union—two natures, one person).

So which got the ball rolling in this downward slope? Both. But that doesn’t really matter too much now that I’m there. The question now is how to get out of it or stop it or change direction or invite a change in direction?

I had a flash of insight on this question while out driving. It occurred to me, that, generally speaking, in both my running and spiritual life, what I’m lacking is joy. It’s not that I’m completely joyless, but, I would say lately there’s too much blahness and not enough joy.

If joy is what I need, how do you cultivate it? How do you nurture it? That’s a good question to ponder and work on. For starters, I think I’ll start with prayer. My spiritual director always tells me to pray for the grace I need. Well, I need joy God… how about some?

What grace do you find you need in your spiritual life these days?